How to Light the Fire in Your Relationship

February 08, 2023

Many people contact me, as a spiritual advisor, to ask what they can do about their relationship that has gone stale.  Nowadays people are so stressed by the rush of modern life and have so little time that they forget that it takes work to keep their relationship alive and healthy. 

When a couple does come together they talk about their problems-Be it financial, children, health, or work. Of course there are problems in our lives, but when that is the emphasis of a conversation with your mate, then you do have a problem.  You have to learn how to put aside problems and focus on each other. 

A good example of how to keep the relationship fresh I think was brought out in the movie “Out of Africa,” which was based on a true story.  When the characters portrayed by Meryl Streep and Robert Redford came together they made it a point to never talk about their problems and the day to day issues.  They would discuss other subjects and create stories to entertain one another.  This is how they kept the relationship alive, even though they were parted for long periods of time. 

So how can you get the spark going again in your relationship? First and foremost is to remember why you came together and fell in love in the first place. Things may have changed over time, but in the beginning of the relationship there was excitement and romance. And this is what needs to be brought back to your relationship to get the sparks going again.

It is important to set aside at least one night a week for date night. A date night should be treated just like you would if you were going out on a date with someone for the first time. You would not be talking about your problems you would be focused on the other person.

If you have small children these things can be done after they have gone to bed and are fast asleep. If your children are older you can arrange a sleepover for them or even a babysitter so that you have time to focus on your mate. If you have no children or your children are grown, you do not have to worry about it.

Here are some suggestions to put the romance back into your life.

1. Write out an invitation for date night and send it to your mate.
2. For the man be sure and bring your date flowers.
3. Have a barbecue outside for just the two of you.
4. Watch the first movie you ever saw - once again. Make popcorn and have a glass of wine as you watch this.
5. Cook dinner together. Make a special desert such as cookies and eat them fresh from the oven.
6. Place lit candles throughout the living room or light a fire in the fireplace.
7. Have a theme night. Dress up as your favorite characters from movie, music, or literature. Plan this in advance to have food appropriate to your theme and have a movie to watch based on your theme.
8. Order take out food and feed one another.
9. Give each other a massage, even if it’s only the neck and shoulders. You will be surprised at how a massage can stimulate both of you.
10. Play board games or cards. The loser has to do something for the other person.
11. Put on music and dance together. There’s nothing more romantic than a slow dance.
12. Put on your sexiest lingerie under your clothes. Play strip poker.
13. Go out and play miniature golf.
14. Read together by candle light or firelight.
15. Have breakfast in bed for dinner and then snuggle under the covers.
16. Make out during the movie, just like you would on a date.

These are just a few suggestions to help you put back the fire in your relationship. The two of you came together for reason and with a bit of effort you can have the same feelings reignited once more.

When you and your mate are together do your best to put the worries of the world aside and focus on each other. This may take time to get into the swing of it, but once you start having date night regularly it will become something that you both are looking forward to.

If you need help on putting back the spark in your relationship Contact Me, Cherokee Billie Spiritual Advisor, and I will help you find ways to be in love once again.

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